Remembering the Good
Yesterday was a pretty busy day. I woke up early, fought the traffic to New York, then ran from downtown to midtown to SoHo to Brooklyn. Then, I fought the traffic on the Brooklyn Bridge then the Holland Tunnel, arrived home, fed my daughter, took her to dance class then back home again then put her to bed.
Not a great day, but not a bad one either, just busy.
I fell asleep early but my sleep was restless. Finally, something woke me up at around 11:00pm and I couldn’t go back to sleep until around 2:00am.
I don’t know why. I searched my mind for the source of my restlessness but couldn’t find anything. Nothing overwhelming was going on, just the usual. Thinking about work, about the things I wrote that day and what I wanted to write the next day, the design of my new website and where I was going to find the Elf on a Shelf my daughter was sure was going to magically show up in her bedroom the next day. A lot of things to be sure but nothing overwhelming or anything I was particularly worried about.
Finally, exhausted, I fell asleep until my alarm woke me up. I was hoping I’d wake up sans that restless feeling but there it was, like an apparition that you feel but only see out of the corner of your eye.
I shuffled into my daughter’s room to wake her up for school. She was curled into an S under the beautiful pink blanket her mother crocheted for her when she was only a bunch of cells dividing in the womb. It took a minute but she finally woke up, stood up on her bed and threw her arms around me.
Every single day, I say the same thing to my daughter in the morning. It’s the first thing I said to her minutes after she was born. “I’m so happy to see you today.”
This morning my daughter beat me to it. She must have somehow sensed I had this restlessness inside me because she said “Hi Daddy, I’m so happy to see you today.”
Doesn’t seem like much, does it? But, like magic, the spirit of restlessness was gone. Whatever discontent I was feeling was no match for a seven year-olds sincere love and appreciation for her dad.
“I’m happy to see you today honey,” I said. I meant it.
A lot has been happening lately. Things that were lost are found again and some things I thought were permanent are slowly fading. Luckily, some things will never fade and I am finding that these are things I must hold onto and cherish. I watched a Sermon by Joel Osteen the other day called Remembering the Good. Part of what he said was that sometimes we get down, not playing the good times in our minds but the bad. That’s my plan, to remember the good, so that when next the spirit of restlessness visits me, as it visits us all, I won’t fight it. I’ll invite it in and hang out with it for a while, remembering the good. Then, after a while I’ll show it the door and move on as we all must.